Letting Go of Expectations: Meditation, Life, and the Freedom to Just Be

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on how much we hold ourselves back because of expectations—expectations about what things should look like, how they should feel, and how we should experience them. It’s something I see in yoga, meditation, and even in everyday life.

This reflection started with a conversation I had at my day job at Colorado State University (CSU), where I serve on the Justice, Equity, Diversity, and Inclusion (JEDI) committee for the College of Veterinary Medicine and Biomedical Sciences. With the current political climate, we’ve seen increasing efforts to remove diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) from government and public schools. It’s frustrating, to say the least, but the students at CSU aren’t having it. They’re protesting, making their voices heard, and forcing administration to be more transparent about DEI-related plans.

For staff, though, it’s a different story. The pushback against DEI feels stronger, and honestly, it’s exhausting. I see it weighing on my colleagues, and I feel it myself.

But in the middle of all of this, I had an interaction that reminded me of something powerful.

A Conversation About Meditation (That Wasn’t Really About Meditation)

I make it a habit to check in with the people in my life. And on Monday morning, a colleague from the JEDI committee happened to be in the office—a rare and wonderful surprise. I asked how she was, how her family was doing, and if she needed anything.

The moment I asked, I watched her shoulders drop, and a wave of exhaustion washed over her face.

I tried to shift the energy. “Tell me something good—what’s a happy or fun thing that’s happened lately?” She struggled to think of anything.

So I asked, “Is there anything in your life that isn’t dragging you down?”

She paused, then finally said, “Well… I’m cooking dinner tonight. And I love cooking.”

And just like that, we had something to build on.

We started talking about cooking, and eventually, meditation came up. And she said something I hear so often:

"I need to meditate, but I think I’d be bad at it. It’s just so hard."

I smiled. "Can I offer you a new perspective?"

She nodded.

"What if I told you that meditation is actually incredibly easy?"

She perked up. “What do you mean? How could it be easy?”

"There’s one simple trick," I told her. "You just have to let go of any and all expectations of what meditation should be, should look like, should feel like."

Her immediate response? “Well, all I know is that I cannot clear my mind.”

"Perfect," I said. "You don’t need a clear mind to meditate. In fact, most people meditate best when they’re focused on something—sometimes even when they’re moving."

I suggested she start meditating while she’s cooking. Instead of trying to sit in silence, she could bring mindfulness into her time in the kitchen. As she chopped vegetables, she could listen to the sound of the knife hitting the board, allowing all other thoughts to come and go. When she added spices, she could take a moment to fully immerse in the scent, letting her awareness stay with that moment.

By the end of the conversation, she had gone from slumped over in her chair to sitting upright, glowing with the realization that meditation isn’t some impossible task—it’s something she can easily weave into her life.

And now, I want to offer you the same realization.

What If You Let Go of Expectations?

How many times have you told yourself you can’t do something because it doesn’t look or feel the way you think it’s supposed to?

Maybe you think you can’t meditate because your mind is too busy.

Maybe you think you can’t do yoga because you’re not flexible enough.

Maybe you hesitate to start something new because it has to be perfect before you begin.

But what happens if you just… let go?

What if you let go of the expectations, the “shoulds,” the rules you think you need to follow? What if you simply allowed yourself to experience whatever happens—without judgment?

Meditation doesn’t have to look like a monk sitting in stillness for hours. Yoga doesn’t have to be about touching your toes. Change doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Whatever is calling to you—whether it’s movement, mindfulness, or something completely different—you deserve to explore it on your terms.

You don’t need to clear your mind. You don’t need to be flexible. You don’t need to do it perfectly.

All you need to do is show up for yourself. 💜

With love and gratitude,
Aza